Mouthing NSFW song lyrics at work because I’m a badass.

<< Keep your ears busy >>

In some ways, I feel like I’ve been a temp all my life.

Wednesday and Thursday I did some temp work at an estate agent. I enjoyed it – though, I say this with caution.

The job I was temporarily hired to do was data entry, so it was a lot of doing the same thing over and over and over again, and at times the system would go down -though, whether it was the server or the ancient laptops we were using, I don’t know.
In all, the work itself was repetitive, tedious, and oddly satisfying.

I think it just felt good to have a purpose of some sort.

This summer, I’ve spent a hell of a lot of time lounging. Sure, I’ve created stress for myself by setting myself writing targets (that I cannot see being completed) and drawings or whatever, but there’s something about waking up early, leaving the house by 6:40 am to catch the 7:15 train in smart clothing, drinking disgusting coffee to remain standing, and wearing n00bie expression on your face.

Pssh.

The regulars could weed me out from a while away, I could tell. I literally got looks like, “Yo, there’s a new nine-to-fiver at the station this morning, looking too damn fresh-faced. Ain’t gonna last, Marnie.”

I kid you not.

It felt good.

The agency had said that we may have been needed for Friday as well, and there was a part of me that was incredibly disappointed to learn that we’d done well enough that coming in on Friday would be unnecessary; we were no longer needed.

I should have been glad to no longer have to wake up so ridiculously early- I could go back to rising at noon and settling before my laptop in my bedroom, lack of dress code meaning undergarments were worn on the constant… But, I’ll miss it.

I feel like I’ve been a temp all my life.

I’ve changed on the constant. Not only my person- likes, dislikes, taste- but my situation too. Moving school almost every two years, moving house even more frequently. I guess I’m lucky enough to have had a huge amount of friends in the past because of this, but I can’t help feeling like, just as I did with the job, any time I’ve put into past relationships, however effective at the time, have a time limit. Soon as I’m gone, that’s it.

Sounds negative, I know, but it used to be something I was quite okay with. I see the glass half full on occasion, and the Temp Life simply meant I had the opportunity to meet different people, experience different communities, and develop as a person- honestly speaking, I wouldn’t change a single thing. But, at times, I get lost in the thought of stability. I can’t lie that I don’t experience something that tastes vaguely like envy at how close some of my friends are to each other, having known each other for years and years, and-

I build walls. I know I do. I grow restless when reined in somewhere for too long. I yearn for something lasting, but fear it at the same time.


In other news:
I did indeed have wildly inappropriate lyrics in my head whilst at work, and damn, the tune is so catchy, it would not stop repeating itself.

“It sucks so much I get ________ from it.”
– Hopsin: Ill Mind of Hopsin 4

I give you one guess.

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